Welcome to His Encouragement Thursday! I don’t know about you, but Thursdays are my struggle day of the week. By Thursday, I have already been working hard at school and at home, and I just wish it would hurry up and be Friday already. LOL! I definitely need a little extra Jesus time on Thursdays.
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.
Psalm 37:8-9 (ESV)
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The other day two of my AVID tutors were discussing being a teacher and what it would be like to be a teacher day in and day out. The young lady in the discussion said, “I don’t think I could be a teacher, I would get too angry at the kids.” Then she looked at me and asked if I ever get angry. I laughed out loud. Do I ever get angry?!
After I chuckled for a minute, I told the two young tutors that I do, indeed, get angry. In fact, I have an anger problem. I could be Hulk. My husband and I joke every time we see the scene in Avengers where Hulk smashes Loki that it could be me. LOL! When I told my tutors this they both looked at me in shock. These tutors have known me for a couple of years now, so they were surprised by my answer. They’ve never seen me even raise my voice other than to get students’ attention.
You see, dear reader, I was raised by a father who was — and still is to this day — constantly angry. He is a Vietnam Vet who never dealt with his PTSD because PTSD wasn’t in the common vernacular in the 70s and 80s, and no one dealt with it. He’d have flashbacks and lash out. His injuries from the war, which were massive, would flare up and he’d lash out. His malaria would rear its ugly head and he’d lash out. The wind wouldn’t blow the right way and he’d lash out. My father has always been a big man at 6’0″ tall and 200+ pounds, so when he lashed out it was terrifying and tormenting. Some might even say it was wrathful. As a kid raised in this environment all I ever knew was hurtful anger lashing out. Sometimes that was a physical lashing out, sometimes it was with words. No one could twist words and emotions as mean as my daddy.
So, yes, I have been dealing with anger for a long time. It’s taken me 41 years, SO much prayer and Bible study, and the loving guidance of my husband to get to the point where I am today…where my students and AVID tutors and co-workers have no idea I battle daily with Hulk-like tendencies. I could easily go on a smashing spree.
Psalm 37:8 tells me that anger and wrath lead to sin. I need to refrain from these deeply injurious emotions. Verse 9 tells us why we need to abstain from anger and wrath — because God is in control. He sees the bad that gets us frustrated. He knows EVERYTHING and vengeance is His. He will deal with every single bad guy and bad thing in the right time…His right time. When I let my anger and wrath loose, all I’m doing is sinning against God. When I do that I keep myself from the gift God has for me — His inheritance.
It’s not an easy battle to fight — dealing with my anger issues — but it is a battle I must fight. I do NOT want to sin against God. I do NOT want Him to think that my feelings trump His commands. I want to be the woman He wants me to be. So, I work every single day to control and tame the fierce anger I have inside myself. I will not stop praying for God’s help, I will not stop finding peace in God’s Word, I will not stop going to my husband for his help, too. I will do everything I can to control myself so I do NOT sin against God.
What about you, dear readers? Do you suffer from a hidden (or not so hidden) anger issue? If you do, go to God right now. Confess your feelings. Confess your sins. Ask for His peace. According to Philippians 4:6-7, when we confess and bring everything to God, He will flood us with a peace beyond understanding that will guard our hearts. What a wonderful protective shield from our perfect Father in Heaven! God is SO good!
The Christian Fiction Girl 
I enjoyed that clip a little too much. 🙂 Recently I was asked if I’d work with children, and I advised against it, explaining that my mother’s go-to tool for dealing with children who didn’t obey to the letter was fear. It’s the method I know; it’s my default. I’ve worked hard to make changes, but I know it’s a weakness. I don’t want to inflict it on unsuspecting children who are simply being children. I work on improving, every day. I learned to explode, carefully contained, and let go. Being angry is too much work and takes too much energy.
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I love that you say anger is too much work and takes too much energy. AMEN! Thank you so much for sharing your struggle. Fear is another thing I battle too. One day at a time and with God’s help, we can make positive changes!
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❤
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Oh, I feel this so much! My parents fought a lot with loud cursing, throwing things, and very explosive anger. I thought that was normal until I met my husband. I would get so angry (and try to rile him up), and he wouldn’t engage, I didn’t understand it! I have come quite a long way since then, slower to anger than I used to be, a whole lot less explosive thanks to the grace of God. This is one of the reasons I don’t like reading curse words in my books. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for sharing! I used to do the same to my husband and he would never bite. It used to drive me crazy. But slowly I’ve learned his way of discussing things was the right way, not my dad’s way.
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